2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
