I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize