she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
