If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Randomize
