Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Randomize
