So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
The struggles of a small town man whore
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
