You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
It's official drugs can't kill me
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Randomize
