That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
