Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Randomize
