I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize