i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
