So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Gay?
German.
Pity.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
