i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
