I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
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