Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
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