Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize
