is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Randomize
