I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
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