he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
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