i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
if only i could text you this smell
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
