If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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