i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
