I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Randomize
