real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
