i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
