i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Randomize
