If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
Just cropdusted the office
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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