is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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