If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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