I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
