"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
