This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
