what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
