I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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