is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize