I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
