i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
