Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
Randomize
