For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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