Me. At least after what I've been through.
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
