Cold hands, warm shart.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
