Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Randomize
