Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
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