ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
Randomize
