im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
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