my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
this hospital has no fireball
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
