So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
