I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
