drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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