i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
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