is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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