Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
is that a dick in a sweater?
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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