Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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