Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
the day after is always just damage control
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Randomize
