If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
