My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Randomize