When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
