your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
Randomize
