At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
