well we can cross tagging a chick in a movie theatre off the list of things to do before we die
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
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