Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
